Am I A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

I've been odd for quite some time. I'm asking this question with a different e-mail address that I've never used before because I'm afraid that everyone I've e-mailed with my other one will read this and think badly of me. Every night I close the blinds because I'm afraid that people are looking at me. I'd close them during the day but my stepdad won't let me. Plus if they were during the day, I could see them and then close it. I can't comfortably sit down at night unless the blinds are closed. When I take a shower, I never turn on the light directly above the shower because I don't want the people outside to know that the shower is being used because I'm afraid they'll come to the window thing above and watch me. I've found myself sometimes clinging to the wall because I think I'm being videotaped in the shower and I'll peak over and glare at the window to let the people know I'm watching them so I can hopefully scare them away. When I go to the bathroom, I have to check behind the shower curtain to make sure no one is there. If the curtain isn't closed, I have to close it because I'm afraid people will watch me still. Sometimes I'm afraid my old boss is following me and that when I talk about her, she's listening to me and will get very mad. When she talked to the other employees in her native language, I always thought she was talking about me. When I go out in public and there are large crowds, especially when they're rambunctious, I'm afraid to think because I think they can hear my thoughts. If they laugh, I think it's because they've heard what I said and are laughing at me. There have been 2 instances in the past where I'm sure that there's a serial killer on his way to kill me. One time I slept with my BB gun under my pillow just in case. Sometimes I think my stepdad gave my mom and his first wife cancer and that if my mom dies, he'll hurt me. I think that the only reason he hasn't hurt me yet is because she's still here to protect me. When I was much younger, I held a knife to my sister's throat and threatened to kill her. When it's dark and I'm going into the garage, I freeze and look into the car to make sure there's not someone in there waiting to strike at me. I'll think "shut up" or "leave" as if I'm communicating with them telepathically. I'll hold my hand out while running inside the house, slamming the door shut. If I feel like I'm not alone, I'll open the door and push the air into the garage, as if I was pushing someone out. I always feel like there's a spirit behind me judging my every move. I believe we communicate telepathically because he won't talk to me. On about 3 occassions, I've felt a tap on my shoulder. Several times (but spread far apart) I've heard my name like it was said directly into my ear but there's no one around. Sometimes I'll hear someone say something but it's so short, I can't remember what it was. But again, I rarely hear things that aren't there. But I still feel like I can communicate with this guy that follows me around even though I can't see him. When I stay up late, I always go to bed by a certain time because I'm convinced my stepdad will come out of his room and yell at me. I'm 22 so it's not like I'm not allowed to stay up. I always think he hates me and that he wants to hit me but can't. Sometimes when I lie awake at night, I make sure I don't look at my closet because I think there might be a serial killer in there and if I don't let him know that I know he's there, he'll leave. I don't sleep on my back because I don't want to entice the serial killer to kill me because that's how I'd lie in a coffin. I'm convinced that I'm supposed to die by the time I'm 30 and I've attempted suicide 12 times. I burned a part of my arm once because that's what the character did on Girl, Interrupted and I felt that I needed to be like her. I'm very delusional. I'm convinced that I'm going to be famous and I'll get angry at anyone that threatens my delusions and I'll think they hate me and are just out to destroy my future. I'm afraid to check for the mail more than once a day because I think that my neighbors are waiting by their window to watch me and that they'll think I'm crazy for going out more than once. If I'm walking to someone's house, I'll make sure they think I've walked past their house then awkwardly move up towards the front walkway and ring the doorbell. I'll never stand in front of the door because I'm afraid they'll watch me through the peephole. One time I saw a bunch of papers fall from my drafting table. I know I saw that. Then I looked back and they never moved. Another time, I know I saw a big brown furry thi